this site i've made to be some kind of diary for me..sometimes it's hard for me to express my feelings and my thoughts..and my failure..my happiness..my sorrow..my life..so..this kind of blog will be the medium for me to release my tension and tell some of my stories..here..is my story..

Thursday, February 11, 2010

.:khalifah dimuka bumi:.

..Assalamualaikum..

arini..overslept..huhuhu..even i wake up early today..but i slept back after i hv my preyer..such a wasting my valueable time..then i also miss tazkiroh today because of golek2 atas katil until 7.45 a.m. then i go to mktb..i suddenly i got a very priceless tazkiroh from mama rozi.she said that Saidina Umar has been asked by his follower..his follower said dat 'Ya Amirul Mukminin...during the day u r very busy with the citizen and manage the country, while during the nite u r very busy with the prayer n ibadah..do u hv the time for urself?'..n Saidina Umar said dat 'durng the day..i hv the responsibility to my country n my people..n during nite i have to fulfill my responsibility to myself by doin the ibadah..i'm very afraid of my responsibility..i didnt dare to been asked about the responsiblity at the padang mahsyar'..when i here it..i very3 touched..i have been wasting of my age..22 years..if i really spend it wisely and accordingly??today i remember of my responsibility..but tomorrow i'll forgot about it..oh man..plz do help me..

then..after class wif mama rozi..i hv a class with Pn. Mahani..once again..i have been 'wake up' of my responsibility towards mom,dad,myself n also my schoolarship..Oh My God..i'm very sinful..ihv forgot of my responsibility..im always wasting my time by doing meaningless things..Yes..pn Mahani is correct..i hv everything..anything dat i want..i'll get it..but how could i study hard n mantain my pointer..every sem..my pointer decline..while other are increased..i know..my mistake..take for granted..i hope..whenever i read dis..i'll remember my responsibility..i'm the caliph of this world..i have the responsibility dat i have to been asked in the Mahsyar..i could i abandon my job as a caliph....

..do advise me..

Sunday, February 7, 2010

.:exhausted:.

Assalamualaikum..
long time I haven't anything in my blog..dunno..but I thought its all about laziness..huhuhu..
but now I really need some medium to xpress my feeling..since Rem was far2 away in UK..I haven't have any replacement for my best buddies ever..i swear..Rem..if could read dis..u know how much u mean for me..(neway..thanks Rem for being there for me every time i need u)..
back to my story..at dis time..i really sick n tired of people around of me..dunno why..but Rem always told me..I'm too good..for always thinking of others people feeling n care about other rather than myself..n now..i keep being hurting by others..i never get mad to any people..even..i felt hurt or anger..i keep smiling n give my best if i could to anybody..even at that time i mad with him/her..i really can't xpress my anger to other people..i feel pity or tak sampai hati to scold other people..but..unfortunately..i hv been nice for the wrong person..they never appreciate my kindness..what the things that i get back is just hurting my heart..i just wanna scream..(if i could)..at dis moment..really wanna cry..dunno..frustrated..

personally..today wasn't my good day..i kept being hurt by the people that i always feel dat they r my frens..however..one of them always back stabing me..or perhaps maybe other people want to talk bad about her..dunno...confusing..today..i hv a visit to my former school..n fortunately..they wanna go to the nearest restaurant to hv lunch..however..they were lost on their way..so i willingly tried to help them..however the person that i thought she was my fren..r talked bad about me...she said dat i trying to show off..oh man..if i know u wanna said that..i swear i wont do anything..just kept u lost ur way..i won't mind..serve ur right..i just wanna help..but that the only thing dat i received..felt tear off..

another xcident..also today..i just felt a little bit hungry..so i asked for a small piece of bread..but that girl said i was to lazy to make and bring my own bread..n said that 'oh..u r very hardworking in front of ur boy..u can made him a bread n bring to class..but for ur own..u r lazy to do so'...if u won't give me bread..its ok..i wont mind..but plz..dun ever said like dat..i know dat i was a lazy girl..but..no need for u to say like dat..if i could ever remembered..it was my 1st time asking others food..i never asking for others food..if only if i thought dat u r my fren..its ok..i'll remember ur 'sweet' words till the end of my life..i wont asking any help for u ever..i noe..i was a lazy person..didnt suit to be u fren...thanks 4 everything..u give me a good lesson..never rely on EVEN with the people u thought dat he/she is ur fren..never do it again..thanks buddy..

..really frustrated..
..really upset..
..really tired..

..thanks for all..